64: Take what you need

by

A bunch of things I loved in 2020

The Fox Hunt, Winslow Homer (1893)

OK that is that for 2020. I am normally not one for blaming a number in the Gregorian calendar for our hardships, because remember when everyone was like ah fuck you 2016 worst year ever how dare you rob us of David Bowie and Princess Leia, and then we spent the next four years living in Diarrhea World. But even by Trump-era standards, this was a truly horrible 365.24 days. And unlike most years, my talent for worst-case scenarios strains to anticipate a 2021 that is quite this bad.

And yet, while a couple of very important things will almost certainly change for the better, many of the elements that made this year so difficult are not going anywhere. We can expect more year-round natural disasters as a result of climate change. Capitalism continues to drive obscene wealth, poverty, and inequality, with mass eviction and debt looming. One political party is still denying reality and dismantling democracy. The other stands for little if anything. The virus will be with us for some time, and there will be new ones in the future.✓

I remember toward the end of pandemic season one I kind of had this moment when it became clear that this is no longer a game of enduring, that it is more of a long haul thing, even permanent in some ways, so our goal needed to shift toward building strength and resilience. Adjusting expectations, but also picking up new tools, weapons, armor, allies, mantras for what was to come.

I’m trying to think of the move into next year with that in mind, less thank god it’s over, and more, what do I bring with me so I am ready for what happens next. Repurposing smashed pieces, taking what you need and moving on, turning the soil. I’ve noticed these themes emerge in this newsletter as I continue to try and figure out how to be a person in the world right now. The best case scenario I can hope for with this humble weekly email is that maybe you found one or two pieces in the rubble that you can use going forward.

So here’s my second annual look back at the year, starting with a prompt inspired by Call Your Girlfriend’s year-end episode.

Things from 2020 that I want to take with me into the new year:

  • Devoting more time to reading. And instead of holding back on pleasure reading to do more learning and research, prioritizing more of both.
  • Flying and driving less.
  • Regular calls and texts with far off friends.
  • Telling my friends that I love them.
  • Afternoons on the back porch or at the kitchen table talking to Jamie.
  • Taking a minute to acknowledge when I’m having a hard time.
  • Giving away more money.
  • The Frontline (WFP and M4BL).
  • Never, ever working on the weekends.
  • Watching movies.
  • Not feeling guilty about buying things that improve day to day life, even in small ways.
  • Nice candles and soaps.
  • Skin care.
  • The Purple Pillow.
  • Writing with fountain pens.
  • Confident and adventurous cooking.
  • Taking evening walks and noticing the positions of the moon, stars, and planets.
  • Paying more attention to my neighborhood.
  • Connecting with the people on our block.
  • Watching squirrels.
  • Listening to bugs.
  • Legend of Zelda and Stardew Valley.

Books I loved

  • The Future Earth, by Eric Holthaus
  • The Future We Choose, by Christiana Figueres and Tom Rivett-Carnac
  • The Uninhabitable Earth, by David Wallace-Wells
  • Mexican Gothic, by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
  • The Only Good Indians, by Stephen Graham Jones
  • A Paradise Built in Hell, by Rebecca Solnit
  • Survivor Song, by Paul Tremblay
  • We Come Elemental, by Tamiko Beyer
  • Why Civil Resistance Works, by Erica Chenoweth and Maria J. Stephan
  • The Lesson, by Cadwell Turnbull
  • The Peripheral, by William Gibson
  • The first 200 pages of Dune
  • Wow, No Thank You, by Samantha Irby

Comics I loved

  • The Case of the Missing Men, by Kris Bertin and Alexander Forbes
  • No Longer Human, by Junji Ito
  • Wrapping up Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing
  • Usagi Yojimbo, by Stan Sakai
  • All Time Comics, edited by Josh Bayer
  • A Perfect Failure, by Noah Van Sciver
  • Megahex, by Simon Hanselmann
  • Now Comics Anthology
  • Jack Kirby’s OMAC

Music I loved

  • Angelica Garcia, Cha Cha Palace
  • beabadoobee
  • Japanese Breakfast
  • Orville Peck, Pony
  • Phoebe Bridgers, Punisher
  • Pat Metheny, From This Place
  • Lankum, the Livelong Day
  • Everything But the Girl, Walking Wounded and Amplified Heart
  • Spanish Love Songs, Brave Faces Everyone
  • Sault, Untitled (Black Is)
  • Andrew Cyrille, Bill Frisell and Wadada Leo Smith, Lebroba
  • Overcoats, The Fight
  • Loren Connors, Airs and Blues
  • Kelly Lee Owens, Inner Song
  • Taylor Swift, Folklore
  • Kills Birds
  • Fiona Apple, Fetch the Bolt Cutters
  • Adrianne Lenker, songs and instrumentals
  • The Nels Cline Singers, Share the Wealth
  • Ali Farka Touré and Toumani Diabaté, In the Heart of the Moon
  • David Byrne, American Utopia on Broadway soundtrack

Television I loved

  • Aggretsuko
  • Avatar: the Last Airbender
  • Better Call Saul
  • The Boys
  • Detroiters
  • Lodge 49
  • Schitt’s Creek
  • Lovecraft Country
  • The Outsider
  • Riverdale
  • The Mandalorian
  • The Leftovers

Movies I loved

  • Beach House
  • The late stage Mission: Impossible movies
  • Edge of Tomorrow
  • Blood Quantum
  • Midsommar
  • Ingrid Goes West
  • Invisible Man
  • Happiest Season
  • Knives Out
  • Mortal Kombat: Scorpion’s Revenge
  • Old Guard
  • Palm Springs
  • Personal Shopper
  • Spider-Man: Far From Home
  • Terminator: Dark Fate
  • American Utopia

Podcasts I loved

  • Climate One
  • The Ezra Klein Show
  • New Yorker Radio Hour
  • Longform
  • U Talkin’ Talking Heads 2 My Talking Head
  • The View from Somewhere
  • Articles of Interest
  • Call Your Girlfriend
  • Mothers of Invention
  • The Slowdown
  • Nice White Parents

Articles I loved

How science beat the virus, Nature Conservancy is a dealer of meaningless carbon offsets, Julian Brave Noisecat’s profile of Deb Haaland, epidemiologists wonder “why the hell we even bother,” on not meeting Nazis halfway, the only good “understanding Trump voters” article, polarization is not the problem, the electoral college is stupid and immoral, tips for dealing with election anxiety or just regular anxiety, the GOP has abandoned democratic principles, Phoenix was above 100 degrees half of the days in 2020, an indigenous environmental defender’s message for the Western world, editors of NEJM say lives lost from Trump admin’s failures are “at least in the tens of thousands,” taking walks and looking at ordinary things with a sense of awe makes people feel better, Trump’s mishandling of the coronavirus defines his presidency, how libertarianism made Arizona a COVID hotspot, the age of megafires, the media should stop covering the US as if it is a democracy, in defense of performative environmentalism, Rob Delaney on his vasectomy, profile of the awful St. Louis couple who pointed their guns at protestors, capitalist individualism has turned into a death cult, Boston’s worst cop, microscopic plastic particles are everywhere, profile of Monica Cannon-Grant, defund the police, the state is failing Black people, people can only bear so much injustice, why Black America fears the police, how tear gas works, “I don’t think Satan’s quite as cool as I used to,” Jia Tolentino on mutual aid, crowds not density allow the virus to spread, most infuriating method for acquiring and consuming coffee, “should an epidemic come draw me and show me to the people,” anxiety can be an advantage, what climate grief taught me about the pandemic, what you are experiencing is grief, Dems have stayed center-left while the GOP drifted into fringe white nationalist territory, an ER doctor’s poem about the pandemic, the awful Imagine video, SUVs are horrible, a gut-wrenching account of a young man who died because he couldn’t afford his insulin, why the pro-choice movement in Argentina has been so successful, aaaannnd finally, end the GOP.

OK there are some things from 2020. How was your holiday? Uneventful? Same. Did some video calls, drank hot wine, watched movies.

One more thing I hope to bring with me into next year is you, reader, if you are up for it. This little newsletter, which started as a weekly list of links and random bits has become a rewarding practice for me that truly helped me get through this year. And that wouldn’t have been the case without you reading, responding, and sharing, so you have my deepest thanks and appreciation.

Yip yip happy new year

Tate